Eternal Curse

Death doesn’t come to me. Not for the lack of trying, mind you. For some reason, death seems to have swept me under the rug and totally forgot about it. I mean, isn’t death supposed to be the ultimate fate! In my lifetime, I myself have been happily responsible for countless beings realizing that fate. But, death - the glorious beautiful finality, has eluded me for more than a few millennia now. I’m afraid of swords no more, it’s life that scares me.

I look like any other soldier of life. Tall, dark with just enough muscles to barely hold my bones together. I don’t see myself as anything special and neither does my horse. For the same unknown reason, my horse has been alive for as long as my memory serves. Ah, memory! Memory becomes a shadow of itself, when every single one of your references change and you don’t. Everything painted with a sense of familiarity.  After few centuries, even your frames of reference slither away like sand in a windstorm.

I have seen mountains transform into plains, seas dry up giving way to deserts, kingdoms burned down to ashes only to be replaced by others and much more. Makes me sound like a hero, right? Wrong. Nothing can be farther from a hero than what I am. I’m just a pricey killer for hire. Hey, I have to eat too. Being immortal (if that’s what I am) might have screwed with my head, but hunger, pain, and pleasure are still as real as it is to any other person.

Anyone who I have shared my secret with either doesn’t believe or tries to make a saint out of me. “why don’t you do something good with your gift?”, “you must be happy to be like this!”, “You must try and find answers to all the mysteries of the world”. All these sound noble. Nevertheless, I chose to be a murderer, because that’s the only way I feel closer to the ever elusive death.

That doesn’t mean I go around butchering everything that moves. I live by a code, even if it’s a convoluted one. Maybe there’s still some humanity left in me. Or maybe I like the thrill of a challenge. Maybe the challenge of a tough opponent is my way of giving death the opportunity to do me a solid. Alas, I haven’t found a challenge that has overpowered me. Yet.

Perhaps, the current mission would be up to the task and put me down permanently. Which is exactly what I thought about the previous one. And the one before that. And the thousands of ones before that.

I only had my horse for a companion. I had named him Despair so I could tell anyone who asks, ‘Despair is my only true companion’. Yeah, that’s my twisted sense of humor for you. Despair stopped abruptly at the base of the mountain, the front of which looked like the entrance to a cave. The sun started dropping behind the hill, bathing the base of the mountain in premature darkness. Despair neighed shaking his mane. That’s his way of saying that we had arrived.

Every once in a while, I take up my own assignment. An evil mage here and a wicked wizard there. Not because I care, but because they are dangerous. This task though was handed to me by the king of Barilon. People of Barilon were being beleaguered by something unknown and evil. The king had lost a third of his army which he sent to confront whatever it was. Not a single survivor to name the evil. Sounds lot like an opportunity for me. And now, I’m here hoping that I would get to join them.

I placed a hand on Despair, ‘You think this is the place, boy?’, I asked, completely aware of the neighing I would get in response. Still, I had made it a habit of talking with Despair. After all, he had no one other option but to put up with me. Despair looked no better than me. He too looked like a skeleton bound by skin.

‘Stay here. I don’t want you getting hurt like the last time. Can’t stand you whining for days afterward,' I chided him. Another meaningful neigh. Why do I even bother?

I checked my supplies - sword, knives, potions, and magic. Yes, I’m immortal, but I don’t want to excruciatingly regrow an arm or a leg over two months if I can help it. After my routine check, I entered the cave. For someone who watched me, I would have looked nonchalant; entering the cave like it was my house.

The cave sloped down gradually for about five minutes and opened into a huge cavern (must be bigger than some hillocks, I guessed). The walls were damp with moss all over them. There was an eerie silence inside the cavern punctuated only by dripping water from somewhere deep inside. Mist obscured sight beyond few feet in every direction. Narrowing my eyes, I took tentative steps forward expecting a surprise attack any moment. After a few hundred feet I was able to make out something glowing iridescent green at a distance.

‘You look like you haven’t eaten in months, my dear Killian’, came a mellifluous female voice, source of which was indiscernible. No one had called me by my name in a very long time; not for about two thousand or so years. I never gave people my name anymore and they never bothered to ask. In fact, I no longer related myself with any particular name. It came as a shock, even to me, when I heard my name.

‘Aww, baffled, are we?’ giggle the voice now from closer than before, ‘The soldier who refuses to die. Ironically, searching for it the whole while.’

So, the thing knew about me. I was not surprised. Given the fact that I have been alive for so long, something was bound to notice. The question is, what had?

‘It looks tiny bit unfair that you know so much about me and I can’t even see you,’ saying so, I focused my efforts on locating the source of the voice this time.

There was a merry laughter before the reply, ‘oh Killian, such hurry! Always hoping against hope that someday, someone would gift what you seek. Death’

‘Yeah. That’s the general idea of my existence.’ I agreed.

‘You make it sound like life is a bad thing, Killian,’ purred the voice.

‘Can we just come to the point. I might be immortal, but I’m terribly short on patience with creeps.’

‘Ha. The irony, hearing it from the one who the world considers a creep. And the fun part is that you believe it. Don’t you?’ the voice kept floating, keeping me on my toes, judging, as to where it came from.

I opened my mouth to say something nasty to provoke it into showing itself, ‘I –‘

‘Oh stop it, child. I’m here to help you. Not argue with you,’ she let out an exaggerated exasperation, ‘Children! Always chasing things that they can’t have. It’s adorable the first few times. But then, it soon gets annoying you know.’

Child? Who calls a guy who has lived through eons a child? Maybe it’s trying to play mind games. Or maybe it really knows what I am and can really help. Maybe. Nothing is concrete in life when all you can do is speculate. Maybe.

My thoughts were interrupted when the fog ahead of me parted as if by a zephyr, revealing a tall, slender woman in a flowing dress, floating towards me. Her dress was constantly shifting from one shade of green to another, never losing the iridescence, flowing as though touched by a constant breeze even when there was no wind in the cavern.

Normally I would have hit her with a spell or two the instant she revealed herself, to test her strength. But for some reason, I just stood there transfixed. Her eyes glowed with blue flames giving off fluorescent wisps of smoke at the edge. She had a sharp face, giving her an ethereal beauty. Her long dark hair dropped in curls around her shoulder, again, flowing in the same non-existent breeze.

‘Expected to see someone else? Or something else perhaps?’ her lips didn’t move even the slightest. I realized why I couldn’t determine the source of the voice earlier. She has been directly projecting the thoughts into my head.

‘Yes dear Killian, I can read your thoughts and project mine into yours. I also happen to be the one who can answer all your questions,’ She offered with a slight tilt of her head.

Is she telling the truth? Is it even a she or some monster playing tricks on my mind? But, what have I to lose by playing along? After all, time is all I have.

‘Feeling wise today, are we?’ she smiled and floated closer to me, ‘I’m here to make you a proposition, child. A deal you can’t refuse. An offer which you’ll thank me for.’

‘Stop intruding my mind and we shall talk,’ I said through clenched teeth and bared them in a feral challenge.

Now she was circling around as if to inspect me, ‘I don’t have to read your mind to know what’s going on in there, boy. It’s what you all want. I grant the power of control over life and all you fools can think about is death.’ Though a subtle one, there was a hint of irritation in her voice.

‘What others?’ I asked unable to hide the surprise from my voice.

‘All you people are so predictable. The same question every single time. Did you really think you were special, Killian?’ she whispered the question close to my ears and drifted away. ‘Can’t blame you. You humans consider themselves to be the only ones who are significant. Every one of your thoughts revolves only around yourself.’

‘Are you here to make me an offer or discuss philosophy,’ I interrupted her, as my initial excitement turned to mild annoyance.

She let out a peel of laughter, which bounced off the cavern walls to make it sound even eerier. ‘How would you like it if I said that I can give you what you covet?’ it was more of a statement that a question.

She had my undivided attention now and she knew it. ‘Go on,’ I said.

The glow in her eyes brightened some more if that was even possible. She spoke through her mouth for the first time and all I could do was wonder about how pleasing her voice was, ‘How would you like to be the next Death?’

‘Wh-Wh-What?’ I stammered, completely aware of what she said.

‘I want you to take up the mantle of Death, my child’ she said, as though that would clarify everything.

Why ask me? What happened to the current person holding the mantle? What do I get out of it? Is she really powerful enough to be entrusted with the selection of a candidate for the mantle? Is there even a mantle or is he bluffing? But why would she? Is she like some kind of god? That’s not the deal I was looking for at all. Not even remotely. Who does she think she is? What-

My thought process was interrupted by her again, ‘Don’t overburden yourself with questions for which you can’t even start to fathom the answers, child. Go ahead and ask them to me,’ by now she had drifted across the cavern to sit on the lone throne like protrusion. That’s when I realized that the cavern was clear of mist.

‘Why, suddenly you couldn’t read my thoughts?’ I retorted.

‘You asked me not to intrude the privacy of your mind and I’m honoring it. Principles are important if we are to work together, don’t you think?’ she said in a matter of fact way.

‘Why me and why now?’

‘I fulfilled my promise to the past Death as he fulfilled his,’ she went back to talking with her mind. ‘And as for why you, you haven’t agreed yet. You are just one of the choices. You don’t have to flatter yourself by thinking you are anything special.’

‘Let’s see. Just the fact that you are here asking me to take up the mantle means you don’t have any better options. At least none who would agree. Which in turn means I’m special, at least in the matter of context. Also, the point that you know so much about me means you have a hand in whatever it is that happened to me to make me this way. So let’s drop the pretense that you are doing me a favor and listen to the deal, shall we?’ I tried my best to imitate her detached demeanor.

‘Logic. I appreciate that in my candidates,’ she said in a nonchalant tone. ‘The deal is simple Killian. You take up the mantle of Death and serve me.’

‘That appears more like servitude than a deal to me,’ I noted.

‘Patience. I haven’t voiced the other part of the deal,’ she paused.

‘In return, you can offer me death,’ I thought out aloud. There was nothing else I had ever wanted. If she is as authoritative as she appears to be, she must know this too.

‘Precisely,’ came the reply.

‘So, that was your promise to the previous guy. You killed him.’

‘Correction. I fulfilled my promise,’ she had conjured a transparent glass out of thin air, which was filled with a smoking liquid the color of her eyes.

‘How long since you put off the last guy?’ I asked.

‘Does that matter?’ she raised a perfect eyebrow inquisitively. ‘Anyways, it has been more than a century since I started searching for a replacement.’

‘That can’t be true! I have seen things die in the past century. Balls, I have killed plenty during that period myself which suggest otherwise,’ I enquired.

Again came that high pitched eerie giggle. ‘Do you think I’m personally recruiting you to the mantle of Death to take over the mundane task of harvesting life from puny creatures? On one hand, you amaze me with your intellect and on the other, you baffle me with your ignorance,’ and she continued that rolling giggle.

It was my turn to raise an inquisitive eyebrow.

She stopped laughing and her face went back to being placid. ‘The mantle of death is a powerful one. We do not employ it for such routine chore. We have our ways of executing it. Natural life, flood, drought, volcanos and what not. You people call them calamities; we call them convenience. Of late you people have invented a tool named war, practically doing our work for us.’

‘Then what might the purpose of Death be?’

‘Balance,’ she said. ‘There are forces beyond your imagination, child. You are nothing but an inconsequential speck of dust in their scheme. I am offering you a chance to transform into something of significance.’

‘Why should I believe you. You haven’t even been to telling who you are.’ I expressed.

Giggle. ‘After millennia of waiting for this chance, would you dare pass it on mere suspicion, Killian? And as for who I am, neither do you people have the knowledge nor the means to comprehend who I am. For now, let’s just call me whatever you are comfortable with.’

‘What if I don’t agree?’ I asked, all the while standing at the same spot like a stone. The gravity of the situation did register on me apparently.

‘You can either agree to my conditions or rot here forever,’ she said, with such malevolence that I haven’t felt in my lifetime. Which is saying something!

‘Then I have nothing to lose by saying yes, have I? After all, how could anything be worse than what I already am?’ I said, bypassing my line of thoughts.

‘I wouldn’t think so,’ she chuckled. ‘There are consequences for anything and everything you do. I offer the mantle; I can take it back too. You’ll always be answerable to me. Taking up the mantle will definitely make you much more powerful. There will be pain. Like you have never experienced. There will be challenges, which might break you and put you in a state where you would beg for what you have now. Nevertheless, endure and you’ll be rewarded.’

‘Any chance is better than no chance at all, right?’ I mulled over what she just said. She might even be the reason I’m in my current state. Not to mention the “us” she mentioned, which meant there were others like her. Considering everything, one might not think much of the choice I have at hand, but when you had lived millennia waiting for such opportunity, it is everything! Also, I have really nothing lose, have I?

‘I’ll take it,’ my voice sounded distant to me like it came from someplace else.

Her lips parted into the most ferocious of smiles, exposing a row of pointed teeth, beautiful in a strange way. Suddenly a cup filled with the same stuff that she was holding in her hand floated towards me from my side and hovered before me. ‘Drink warrior. Drink and bind yourself in service to me. Drink to become Death.’

I tentatively extended a hand to grab the cup, which started drifting towards my hand. And before I could change my mind, I emptied the cup in one large gulp. I half expected it to burn through my organs, but it went down spreading a wintery chill through my body, which had nothing to do with the temperature in the cavern.

Nothing happened for a minute. I did not feel any different than before, ‘That’s it? No-‘ I dropped the glass, which vanished before hitting the ground as searing pain blinded me.

In my lifetime, I have had my share of pain. I have had every bone in my body break, organs torn, limbs cut. But this was like none that I have ever felt. The pain seemed to originate from individual cells in the body. The pain was nowhere and everywhere at the same time.

I could feel my bones shift and limbs turn to take new forms. All the while she was sitting on the makeshift throne with the smile on her face. If I wasn’t mistaken, she looked like she was thoroughly enjoying the show.

Finally, after what seemed like a century, the pain subsided. I felt, different. I was covered in some kind of armor which looked like it was made of bones. Thicker than any I have seen and somehow I got the feel that the armor was just as impenetrable as it was thick. I couldn’t see how else my body had been altered for I was still lying down on the cavern floor.

‘Rise my warrior. Rise to become the Death.’

I rose to the feeling of difference and familiarity at the same time. ‘What now?’ I asked, flexing to see what had changed.

‘your first task as death will be to kill the rest of the candidates who were in line for the mantle. The immortals who are like you were,’ she swirled the glass in her hand unconsciously.

‘What,’ I barked in a sudden surge of anger. ‘Does that mean I would have died even if I had refused your offer?’ I hadn’t realized that I had taken the sword out of its scabbard in the process. The sword was heavier and was made of bone. Still, I did not have an ounce of doubt its sharpness.

‘Oh Killian, you haven’t been listening. I make and break the rules here. I could have as easily taken away your name from the list and let you rot forever,’ she put an undue emphasis on the last word. ‘How dare you challenge me with the powers I gave you.’

The fire in her eyes suddenly blazed double its size and I was drowned in sudden, agonizing pain. Pain which made the transformation process feel like a prelude. The pain receded after what felt like hours and when it was over I was on all fours gasping for air. I slowly got to my feet and bared my teeth in resigned acceptance.

‘You will do what I ask of you without any questions. Is that clear?’ she asked.

‘Yes, my lady.’ I bowed at the waist, head down. ‘Where or whom do I start with?’

‘You are Death. You’ll know it in your heart,’ came the reply.

When I looked up she was gone. No trace of her or the throne. There was only the cavern and its deep silence. I agree, I did not completely understand the implications of what just happened. But, I have new responsibilities. I have something new to look forward to now.

I came out of the mountain to see Despair too had transformed to reflect my appearance. If he resembled anything like a skeleton before, he was an actual skeleton now. Perks of being Death I guess. When I reached him, he welcomed me with his characteristic neigh as if to ask what happened.

‘I am Death and you are Despair. We have some immortals to kill.’